


Lonely

by raviolitomyjaeger



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, self harm mention, slightly nsfw, suicidal thoughts mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 04:49:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3797329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raviolitomyjaeger/pseuds/raviolitomyjaeger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a falling out with Eren, Jean and Mikasa haven't talked in nearly two years. However, a meeting in the hallway changes everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't check for spelling errors so I'm sorry if you catch any.

                Jean always seems to forget how beautiful Mikasa is. He thinks he remembers, of course, but he’s always breathless every time she sweeps past him in the hallway. He has no idea why or how she’s so perfect to him, but she is. Maybe it’s the way her hair falls or how it looks when she has it in a ponytail or even a bun. He does recall one time when she wore it in pigtails and honestly, he almost died at how _cute_ she looked.

                He watches again as she slips past him in the hallway, a frown on her face and a French book in hand. Come to think of it, he hasn’t actually talked to her since the end of sophomore year. They were currently reaching their final stretch of senior year.

                It’s not his fault, though. Not completely, at least. He and Eren had a rather large falling out near the end of sophomore year, so Jean hasn’t bothered much with his old friends since. It’s lonely, but Jean manages.

                He’s noticed her becoming more distant towards everyone, though. Especially in the past few months. He overheard Sasha questioning her last week, but Mikasa didn’t really reply. Mostly, it sounds as if she’s nervous waiting to hear back from Yale. (Which, Jean admits he would be pretty nervous about that too. But Mikasa? She has over a four point and she’s the most graceful dancer he’s ever laid his eyes on.)

                He sighs, slamming his locker shut, causing a freshman passing by him to jump and hurry away from him. He watches the kid as he speeds away and wonders if he was like that freshman year.

                Glancing down, he begins making his way to his fourth hour. He’s stopped when something runs directly into him, causing both himself and the other person to fall to the floor.

                “Hey, watch wh—Mikasa?”

                “Oh, I’m sorry, Jean,” she says. Her voice sounds like honey to him—sweet and smooth. “I forgot my French notebook…” her voice trails off as she decides she probably doesn’t need to explain herself. “Anyway, I’m sorry.”

                Jean stands, brushing away the imaginary dust on his pants, then offering Mikasa a hand. “No worries. I’m not that worried about being late to class.”

                She takes his hand and pulls herself up, leaving her French book lying in the middle of the hallway. “Thanks.”

                “’Course,” he says. He shoves his hands into his pockets, rolling back onto his heels. “So, uh, how’ve you been?”

                Mikasa pauses halfway from picking up her book. After a moment, she grabs it and returns to standing up straight. “Alright, I guess. Stressed. Kind of lonely, I suppose.”

                Jean nods. “I know that feel pretty well.”

                Mikasa averts her eyes away from his. “I’m sorry about that,” she replies, almost under her breath. “He’s… incredibly unreasonable. I’m sorry that none of us really interact with you anymore.” Her eyes meet his for a moment before she looks up. “Are you okay with skipping class?”

                That’s not at all what he has been expecting her to say, but he agrees. “Where to?”

                “I’m assuming you drove yourself today?”

                “Yeah,” Jean says, turning around and heading to his locker. “Let me put my shit away before we go first, though.”

                “I should put my stuff away too,” she says. However, she stands there with him, at his locker, as Jean puts away his book and folder with shaking hands and a quickening heartbeat. Skipping school with Mikasa? He’s got to be dreaming.

                He follows her to her locker, where she neatly stacks her book and notebook on top of everything else inside. “I’m guessing you didn’t drive today?” He asks.

                She shakes her head, standing up and closing her locker. “No, Eren drove me.”

                “Are we coming back, by the way?” Jean isn’t planning on it.

                “I don’t think so,” she says.

                “Okay, good.”

                Sneaking out of the school isn’t hard. Anyone can quite literally walk out the door and go unnoticed. His car is towards the back of the parking lot, which ends up being a lot of walking and even more silence between to two of them.

                Once they’re in the car, Jean stalls after he turns on the car. “Where should we go?”

                “Mm,” Mikasa looks down at her hands. “The park, I guess.”

                “It’s not exactly warm out, Mikasa,” he says, his cheeks heating up at saying her name. He glances away from her so she hopefully won’t notice.

                “I never said we were getting out of the car, Jean.”

                His heart skips a beat and he doesn’t know if it’s from her saying his name or the fact that she’s completely okay with being alone in a car and what should be a relatively empty park. “Okay,” he chokes out, putting the car into reverse and pulling out of the spot he’s parked in.

                The car ride there is also silent and Jean’s almost beginning to worry that’s how the rest of this adventure will go. But it’s not awkward or uncomfortable, so maybe it’s not so bad.

                The park is completely empty when they arrive and Jean parks in the most secluded spot available. “Well, we’re here.”

                “We are,” Mikasa nods. She’s biting on her lip and appears to be contemplating something. “Can we move into the back?”

                Jean swallows hard and nods. “Yeah, of course.”

                Mikasa slips off her shoes and crawls into the backseat of the car with Jean following suit.

                “So, uh,” Jean says, trying to think of something— _anything_ —to say. Finally, he sighs. “I haven’t talked to you in so long I’ve forgotten how to.”

                She shakes her head, “No, that’s fine. Completely fine. It’s not your fault.”

                Silence falls between them again.

                “He’s cheating on me.”

                “What?”

                “Eren. He’s cheating on me. He doesn’t know that I know yet, though. But he is.”

                “O-oh.” Jean doesn’t know how to reply to this. He always knew Eren was an asshole, but this even seems a bit much for him. “I’m sorry. Can I help?”

                “How are you supposed to break up with your best friend?” she asks, “Especially when you fucking live with them?”

                Jean hesitates, then wraps his arm around her. “I don’t know, but you can always keep pretending you don’t know so at least you don’t have to deal with a terrible living situation until graduation. But you’re also eighteen, so you could move out if you have the money.”

                “I have money, but not that much.”

                Jean peeks at her from the corner of his eye. Her hair is down today and it’s tickling his arm. He likes this far more than he should. “I have room in my apartment,” he blurts out.

                “You… you have your own apartment?” Her eyes widen when she turns to him, a worried look crossing her face.

                Jean nods. “Yeah. It kind of sucks, but I couldn’t stand my dad anymore. I probably would’ve died if I stayed with him.” Jean _hates_ saying that, but it’s the truth. Either his dad would’ve killed him, or Jean might’ve done it himself. He moves around a bit, hoping his sleeves cover up the previous year’s damage.

                “Did it get worse after we cut you off?”

                Jean’s eyes close. “Yes. Much, much worse.”

                “I’m sorry…”

                He shakes his head. “Not your fault. The more I hear about Eren, the more I remember what a manipulative dick he is. Not to mention that of course you’re going to follow what he does. You’re dating.”

                “I regret it though.”

                “Don’t.”

                “…Okay.”

                Silence falls between them once again. Mikasa eventually leans her head on his shoulder, causing Jean’s heart to beat a million miles per hour. _She can probably hear it_ , he thinks, trying to calm himself down.

                “Hey,” she says after a while.

                “Yeah?”

                She pulls away from him, and for a moment he misses the warmth. But only for a moment, as she resettles herself so she’s straddling him. “Is this okay?” she asks, her head titled.

                “Um, uh,” Jean’s struggling to figure out where to put his hands. He doubts his voice will even work. Mikasa senses this and grabs one of his hands, but then hesitates. Their eyes meet, and it’s not until then that Jean notices her cheeks are completely red. She pulls his hand forward, resting it gently on her breast.

                “Here,” she says.

                Jeans nods nervously, trying not to shake. At this point, he knows he’s dreaming. There’s no way this is actually happening. He carefully starts to move his hand, gently squeezing. _God, I’m such a fucking virgin,_ he thinks, but relaxes when Mikasa releases a small whine and her arms wrap tightly around his neck, her hips grinding against his.

                Jean uses his free hand to cup her chin, pulling her face closer to his. Their eyes meet again, and then Jean pulls her into a kiss. His hand slips around to pull her closer and she moves her hips faster against his.

                They pull apart to breathe and Mikasa stops moving her hips. She pushes herself off of him, her fingers moving to undo her pants.

                “Wait,” Jean says, reaching for her. “Let me.”

                Mikasa drops her hands, letting him take over. He unbuttons them with shaking hands, and then helps her pull them off. His fingers brush over her panties, then he runs them up and down her inner thighs. Her hands grip his shoulders, fingernails digging into his hoodie. “J-Jean, please don’t tease me…”

                “Hm, fine,” he says, dragging his fingers up and then into her panties. “Better?” he asks, her gasp of pleasure making him feel as if he was about to pass out.

                But, of course, Mikasa’s phone starts to ring. Jean pulls his hand away and reaches into the front seat, grabbing her phone from the cup holder. “It’s Eren,” he says as he passes it to her.

                She answers. “What?”

                Jean leans in close, resting his head against her chest. Her fingers grab his hair, twirling it.

                “Where are you?” he hears Eren ask.

                “I went home. I didn’t feel good.”

                “Okay. How did you get home?”

                “Dance friend.”

                “Alright,” he sighs, “I’ll see you after fifth hour.”

                “Okay. Bye.” She hangs up and throws her phone back to the front seat. “I guess we have to cut this short.”

                Jean nods. He can’t say he’s not disappointed, but he’s honestly more in awe that this even happened. He climbs into the front seat and starts the car while Mikasa puts her pants back on.

                “Your house then?”

                “Yeah,” she says, settling into the front seat.

                “Aight.”

                “We should do this again sometime soon.”

                Jean glances at her. “We should?”

                She nods, smiling. “Yeah, we should.”


End file.
